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How to Make Friends As an Adult

communication getting unstuck self-awareness Sep 08, 2021
Friendship as an adult

How to Make Friends As an Adult

Does it ever feel like its harder to make friends as an adult than it was as a kid? Do you ever feel like you can go days or even weeks without truly connecting with someone? If so, you are not alone.

True connection seems to be lacking in the lives of so many people lately.  We could blame it on the pandemic, but a loneliness epidemic has been brewing for a long time.  Why?

Here are some potential reasons:

1.  We often make the bulk of our friendships when we are young or in school among peers, or during phases of growth.  When we grow up, we tend to stay with the same job, the same people and the same routine. This can get tedious and lonely, especially if our routine doesn't include strong connections with work colleagues. 

2. We evolve as we grow, and so do our friendships.  Sometimes this means growing apart as life takes us in different directions.  Unless both sides of the friendship are invested in maintaining the connection, people can grow apart.

3. We think its hard to connect.  Or, loneliness can make connecting with new people feel awkward or make us feel self-conscious, especially for those who struggle with social anxiety or who tend to be more introverted. This can make us hesitate or avoid reaching out to connect with new people.

So, what can I do?

  • Realize you are not the only person who struggles with making friendships as an adult.  Many people struggle with this, and there is no shame in it.  It can be a part of modern life, if we let it.

 

  • Make a list of all the reasons you are a great friend. Start to think about and see your valuable friendship qualities and think about all of the people out there who are going to be happy to meet you and connect with you.

 

  • What qualities in a friend are you looking for?  Get clear about the types of friendships you would like to have in your life.  This way, you'll be open to recognizing potential connections when they show up.

 

  • Practice. Putting yourself "out there" to make new friends can be scary, and fun.  It can feel scary if it's unfamiliar.  Your brain is actually wired to keep you safe from unfamiliar or uncertain situations, so don't worry if it feels scary or awkward at first. Practice going to social or networking events where you can have conversations with new people.

If you'd like to read some books that I've found to be helpful and relate to this topic, check out the following:

https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Yourself-Critic-Anxiety/dp/1250122228/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=how+to+be+yourself&qid=1631116015&sr=8-1#

https://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Love-Practical-Relationship-Toltec-ebook/dp/B005BSQWVM/ref=sr_1_1?crid=6102DS2WZOO8&dchild=1&keywords=mastery+of+love+by+don+miguel+ruiz&qid=1631116567&sprefix=mastery+of+love%2Caps%2C344&sr=8-1

 

Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection

https://www.amazon.com/Rejection-Proof-Became-Invincible-Through-ebook/dp/B00N6PETVC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3PTGI539WGITS&dchild=1&keywords=rejection+proof&qid=1631116642&sprefix=rejection%2Caps%2C175&sr=8-1

If you would like some help creating new friendships and connection in your life and would like to find out about ways working with me can help, email me at [email protected] to set up a free consultation.

 

Do you want to find clarity and organize your life? Download a free copy of my first book, Organize Your Life: How to Find Clarity From Within by clicking below:

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